Healing from Trauma: A Neurodivergent-Affirming Approach to Recovery

A common misconception about healing from trauma is that you are broken and that healing is how you get fixed.

Healing from trauma is not about “fixing” yourself—it’s about creating safety in your mind and body. 

For neurodivergent people, trauma recovery often looks different than the typical self-help advice suggests. If you're an ADHDer, Autistic, or experience another flavor of neurodivergence, you may find that common trauma recovery strategies don’t always fit your brain.

Maybe you’ve tried mindfulness, but your thoughts won’t slow down. Maybe traditional talk therapy feels overwhelming or ineffective. Maybe you feel stuck in patterns of freeze, avoidance, or sensory overload that make healing feel impossible.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Can I let you in on something? There are ways to heal that actually work with your brain, not against it.

How Trauma Affects the Neurodivergent Nervous System

Trauma doesn’t just live in your memories. It’s stored in your nervous system. When you experience trauma, your body adapts to keep you safe. You might stay in a fight-or-flight state, feeling constantly anxious, on edge, or hyper-aware of potential dangers. Or you might shut down into freeze mode, where it feels impossible to start tasks, connect with others, or even get out of bed.

For neurodivergent people, this can be even more complicated. Many of us already have sensory sensitivities, executive function challenges, and a tendency toward overstimulation or shutdown. Trauma can amplify these struggles, making it even harder to regulate emotions, make decisions, or trust ourselves.

The good news? Healing is possible. And it doesn’t have to look like traditional therapy models that ignore neurodivergent experiences.

Unlearning Shame & Rebuilding Self-Trust with ACT

One of the biggest obstacles to trauma recovery is shame—especially for neurodivergent folks who have been told their entire lives that they’re “too sensitive,” “too much,” or “not trying hard enough.” Many of us internalize these messages and believe that we’re broken.

ACT helps us step out of this shame cycle by:

✅ Recognizing our trauma responses as adaptive survival mechanisms, not personal failures

✅ Learning how to make room for difficult emotions without letting them control us

✅ Identifying our values, the things that actually matter to us, and taking small steps toward them

Healing isn’t about erasing the past or forcing yourself to “think positively.” It’s about struggling less with discomfort, developing new approaches, and moving toward the life you want, even when your brain wants to keep you stuck.

Practical Healing Strategies for Neurodivergent Trauma Recovery

1. Behavioral Activation: Small Steps Out of Freeze Mode

If you struggle with executive dysfunction, avoidance, or shutdown, behavioral activation can help. Instead of waiting for motivation to strike, focus on tiny, values-driven actions that gently nudge you toward engagement.

🔹 ACT Lens: If one of your core values is creativity but trauma has made it hard to paint again, try just setting up your art supplies without pressure to create anything. Let action come before motivation.

2. Environmental Modifications: Creating a Safety-First Space

Your environment plays a huge role in trauma recovery. If your space feels overwhelming, unsafe, or overstimulating, your nervous system will stay in a state of distress.

🔹 ACT Lens: Instead of judging yourself for struggling with basic tasks, practice self-compassion and adjust your environment to support your needs. If making meals feels impossible, it doesn't mean that you're “lazy”. You might just need a simpler setup, like pre-cut veggies or batch-cooked meals.

3. Polyvagal-Informed Self-Care: Regulating Your Nervous System

Healing from trauma isn’t just about talking. It’s about teaching your body that it’s safe. The polyvagal theory explains how our nervous system shifts between states of safety, fight-or-flight, and shutdown.

Some ways to regulate:

🧍 Movement – Gentle stretching, rocking, or walking to signal safety to your body

🫂 Co-Regulation – Spending time with safe people (or even pets) to feel connected

🎶 Sound & Vibration – Humming, singing, or listening to soothing music

🔹 ACT Lens: Instead of trying to "fix" your nervous system, use mindfulness to notice your state without judgment. Ask yourself: "What does my body need right now?"

4. Structured Decision-Making: Reducing Overwhelm

ADHD and trauma both make decision paralysis worse. If you feel stuck in endless overthinking, structured decision-making can help.

🔹 ACT Lens: Rather than getting caught in cognitive fusion (believing your thoughts are absolute truth), use defusion techniques like naming your thoughts (“Oh, there’s my brain doing the overthinking thing again”) and then making a small, workable choice.

🔹 Example: Instead of debating what to eat for an hour, pre-decide a few go-to meals so you don’t have to think in the moment. Or use a “two-choice rule” (e.g., "Do I want a sandwich or pasta?" instead of scrolling delivery apps endlessly).

The Role of Neuroqueer Healing

If you’re queer and neurodivergent, healing from trauma often involves unpacking layers of internalized shame, rejection, and societal pressures. Many of us have masked our true selves for years, leading to a deep sense of disconnection from our bodies, emotions, and needs.

🔹 ACT Lens: Defining your values, those qualities you want to embrace (some examples might include authenticity, community, or creativity) can help you take small, meaningful steps toward a life that aligns with who you truly are.

This is why community care is just as important as individual healing. You don’t have to do this alone. Finding affirming spaces: whether that’s through therapy, peer support, or online communities can make a world of difference.

Healing Isn’t Linear—And That’s Okay

Recovery isn’t about “getting back to normal.” It’s about building a life that feels safe, authentic, and sustainable. If you’re struggling with trauma, ADHD, or emotional dysregulation, know this: There is nothing wrong with you. Your brain and body are doing their best to keep you safe. And with the right support, you can build a life that works for you.

🔹 ACT Lens: Healing happens in tiny, imperfect steps. Instead of striving for a “perfect” recovery, focus on small, values-based actions even if they feel messy or uncertain.

As a neurodivergent-affirming therapist, I want you to know you're not broken and it's never too late to start your healing journey.

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Hannah Dickey LMSW

Supervisee in social work

Psychotherapist at Divergent Path Wellness

If this post resonated with you, or you're seeking a mental health therapist in Virginia, we invite you to explore our services at Divergent Path Wellness. 

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